


Oh, Daddy!

by Epiphanyx7



Series: The Myriad Adventures of Maggie Lokisdottir [1]
Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Babies, Friendship, Gen, Gen Fic, Kid Fic, M/M, Maggie Lokisdottir, Superheroes and a Baby, Toddlers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-21
Updated: 2012-11-21
Packaged: 2017-11-19 04:32:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/569125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Epiphanyx7/pseuds/Epiphanyx7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maggie’s first birthday was an event to remember, starting with a specially-organized parade and ending when AIM attacked the subway system. Her second birthday, however, is when most of the <i>real</i> trouble started.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh, Daddy!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sparrowshellcat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparrowshellcat/gifts).
  * Inspired by [And Baby Makes 3?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/377942) by [sparrowshellcat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparrowshellcat/pseuds/sparrowshellcat). 
  * Inspired by [Baby Daddy Drama](https://archiveofourown.org/works/346969) by [sparrowshellcat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparrowshellcat/pseuds/sparrowshellcat). 



> Much thanks to Sparrowshellcat for letting me play in her sandbox. Also to Nanowrimo, because if I wasn't avoiding writing my novel, this story would not have been written.

Maggie’s first birthday was an event to remember, starting with a specially-organized parade and ending when AIM attacked the subway system. Her second birthday, however, is when most of the _real_ trouble started.

\--

Having opened her present from Auntie Pepper (a sparkly princess dress that had halted the party for twenty minutes as the birthday girl had to put the dress on NOW NOW NOW) and then the present from Clint, which was a beautiful bow and quiver that matched her sparkly princess dress... most of the adults in attendance assumed it would take her a few minutes with each new addition before she lost interest in the toys.

They were wrong.

They were wrong, because Tony Stark refused to be outdone at anything, even gift giving at a two year old’s birthday party. After the parade idea from the last year hadn’t panned out so well, he decided to try a different tactic this year. Tony thought _small_. And by small, that is to say, he miniaturized the already miniaturized arc reactor and built a toddler-sized Iron Man suit.

“Tony,” Pepper said in a warning tone--

Too late.

All the adults covered their ears as Maggie screamed the scream of _I Am So Happy And Filled With Joy I Could Die_ (which is nearly indistinguishable from the _I Am Being Horribly Murdered By A Doom Bot_ scream) and hugged her new suit.

“That is not an appropriate toy for a little girl!” Pepper and Steve chorused.

> Side Note:
> 
> This, among other things, will eventually be declared as the beginning of the great Gift Battle For Miss Maggie’s Affection, which eventually results in Steve and Loki generously donating the baby sea monster to the New York Zoo while Maggie sobbed brokenheartedly over the loss of her inappropriately named ‘kitty’, but honestly, it was a sea monster. Where were they going to keep it, Thor? The bathtub was clearly too small, and Maggie was not old enough to be unsupervised near the pool.

This incident, however, did not end in tears.

Well, there were a few tears of joy on Maggie’s part, as she ran to Tony and hugged his knees as hard as a toddler possibly could. Then, the little girl removed her soother from her mouth to make loud kissing noises at him.

“You’re very welcome, princess,” Tony said, grinning over his sunglasses and giving Thor a look of smug superiority.

“Fankoo,” Maggie squealed. “Fankoo, Fank you, Daddy!"

THIS was when the trouble started.

\--

Come on, munchkin,” Tony begged. “Don’t do this to me! Pepper already thinks we’re spending too much time together, which is stupid, obviously, don’t listen to her. Just show the nice lady that you know who I am! Can you say ‘Uncle Tony’, sweet pea?”

“Daddy!” Maggie said cheerfully, taking his sunglasses off his face. She put them on her own head, upside down, which would have been adorable at any other time.

“Uncle Tony,” Tony repeated a little desperately.

“Daddy,” Maggie said comfortingly.

Steve was glaring at him, arms crossed over his broad chest.

Dejectedly, Tony let his head sink into his hands. “This is terrible,” he moaned.

Maggie considered the top of his head, then turned to look at Steve. “Daddy, Up!” she demanded, raising her arms.

Tony left his face mashed against the kitchen counter. “Well, at least she knows who you are,” he muttered.

Steve continued to glare.

“Up, up!” Maggie shouted. “Daddy, _up!_ ”

\--

It soon became apparent that Maggie’s vocabulary was somewhat... lacking.

\--

Pepper held up one of her hand-made flash cards. “What is this, baby?” she asked.

Maggie considered the picture of a tiger carefully. Then she looked at her soother, which was being held hostage until the end of the exercise. “Kitty?”

“Good!” Pepper flipped to the next card, which showed the outside of Avengers tower.

“Home!” Maggie said confidently.

“Good!’ Pepper gave her a jellybean, waiting for her to finish chewing it (and spitting it out, and drooling, and putting it back in her mouth, and chewing some more, and then throwing it on the floor) before they continue. “Here’s a new one, this is a parrot. Can you say ‘parrot?’”

“Birdie!” Maggie held out her sticky, slime-covered hands. Pepper obediently put the picture in her grasp.

“That’s right, sweetie.” Pepper said encouragingly. “A parrot is a kind of bird. Can you say ‘parrot’ now?”

“Purret.” Maggie said.

“Excellent!” Pepper beamed. “You are doing so well, Maggie! You’re such a smart girl!”

Maggie beamed back.

“Now, who’s this?”

“Daddy!”

The picture in question was of Loki, so Pepper nodded quickly. “That’s right, that is one of your daddies. This is Daddy Loki. Can you say Daddy Loki?”

 _“Daddy,”_ Maggie repeated, as if she thought Pepper was a little slow.

“And who is this?” A picture of Steve.

“Daddy!”

The next photograph showed Nick Fury scowling at the camera.

“Daddy!”

A picture of Natasha, out of uniform.

“Daddy!”

Her nursery school teacher.

“Daddy!”

Agent Coulson.

“Daddy!”

\--

“Okay,” Steve sat his daughter down and showed her a picture of Tony. “This is uncle Tony. Can you say Uncle Tony?”

Maggie smiled at him adoringly. “Unca Nony?”

“That’s right!” Steve went through each Avenger twice, until she knew all of their names, or an approximation of their names. “Who is in this picture?” He showed her a picture of Thor at the Grand Canyon, holding Mjolnir aloft.

“Unca For!” Maggie said firmly.

“Yes, that’s right.” He gave her a quick hug. “Let’s go see him!”

When she saw Thor sitting cross-legged in front of the television, Maggie squealed in joy, kicking her legs. “DADDY!” She shouted, reaching out for Thor, at which point Steve decided this was something she would probably just grow out of.

Hopefully.

Loki looked over at him. “She gets this stubbornness from _your_ side of the family.” He said haughtily.

“Obviously, she gets it from your side of the family,” Steve countered. “You want to see stubbornness, look at Thor! Prime example of willful ignorance. Stubborn as a mule.”

\--

“She’s not even biologically related to _EITHER OF THEM!_ ”

“Shh, Clint. I know, I know.”

\--

It was probably because, not differentiating between themselves as ‘papa’ or ‘pop’ and ‘daddy’, Steve and Loki had sort of set themselves up for some confusion. Steve was Daddy and Loki was Daddy, and Maggie had far too many honorary uncles and not enough Aunties for her to start making gender-based distinctions. Every adult she knew was “Daddy” and every adult she didn’t know was “No, no, go ‘way, NO.”

“She’ll grow out of it,” Steve assured himself, closing another parenting book that didn’t even come close to talking about his problems.

“She still won’t differentiate between us, though,” Loki fretted. “Does she understand that we are her parents, and that the other Avengers are not? Have we been neglecting her intellectual growth as well as her vocabulary?”

“I don't think that she’s confused,” Steve said. “Remember when Thor tried to read her a bedtime story and she screamed GO AWAY at him for forty-eight minutes? She clearly prefers you and I to anyone else. This is just a phase.” _‘Just a phase’_ was something he found himself saying quite a lot, lately.

“I refuse to be on equal footing with _Thor_ ,” Loki muttered darkly. “My own daughter, Steven! What betrayal!”

“She’s mine too,” Steve said lightly, pulling his husband down onto their bed and in for a hug. “It’ll pass. Just see.”

“In the meantime, we shall face this injustice together,” Loki declared. “Together, and with chocolate fondue.”

“Chocolate?” Steve repeated. “I thought fondue was melted cheese and bread?”

“Oh, how delightfully naive.” Loki chuckled, giving his husband a wicked smile. “You have so much left to learn, dollface.”

\--

After a nursery school playdate (also, the only time the Avengers tower was, well, _quiet_ ), Maggie came home. She was uncharacteristically silent, and there were obvious tear tracks across both her cheeks.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Pepper asked her.

“No,” Maggie replied, turning her face away. She put her hands up to fend off Pepper’s offer of a hug. “No, Daddy.” she repeated, forcefully.

Knowing that this was a battle she couldn’t win on her own, Pepper went off to seek reinforcements. There was one person who would always turn the tide in her favour-- Tony.

Maggie, while very smart and generally giggly and happy, was also a very quiet child. She didn’t speak in sentences most of the time, did a large portion of her communication through pointing and a variety of monosyllabic grunts. She liked listening to adults more than making any frustrating attempts at communication herself.

The exception was with Tony.

Tony talked like breathing, and after five minutes in his company, even the normally-quiet Maggie was desperate to get a word in.

Hence why Pepper made a beeline for Tony’s workshop, where she proceeded to drag him away from his latest engine prototype to come play with his favourite two year old.

“No, no, Pepper, no, I was good, I promise. I went to the meetings today, every single one of the stupid boring meetings and I talked with old people with terrible fashion sense and I even did that accounting thing you told me about. I was good! And yesterday, too, even! And the magazine interview! I made the whole presentation for the shareholders without even ONCE mentioning building a volcano lair, too! You promise, Pepper, you promised I could take a day off,you did, I got it in writing and JARVIS has the video. Play the video, JARVIS, I-- Oh, hey munchkin, pudding-pop, sweetie-pie, I didn’t know we had a playdate! Is this a surprise playdate! Yay! Thanks Pepper, this is just what I neede,d how did you know, you’re great, really. I’ll bet you get a really big Christmas bonus this year, Pep. Hey, Maggie, what’s wrong?” Tony said, suddenly alarmed.

Maggie flung herself into his arms and, horror of horrors, began to cry.

“Baby, no, don’t cry, tell Uncle Tony what’s wrong and I’ll fix it. I can fix anything, what do you need, baby? You want the moon? I will buy you the moon. Shareholders will complain and think that I am building a death star, but I can totally buy you the moon.”

Maggie, comforted by Tony’s, well, _Tony-ness_ , laid her head on his shoulder and began to babble incoherently.

Tony nodded. “Got it.”

More babble.

“And then what happened?”

Complete nonsense.

“Well, what did you do?”

Frantic jabbering.

“Smart of you. What happened next?”

Blubbering.

“Oh dear. That is serious. Come on, munchkin, let’s go see your daddies, okay?”

Tony set off to collect both Steve, who was doing chin-ups in the gym, and Loki, who was berating a few HYDRA minions in a SHIELD holding cell.

> (“Do you even have clearance to be here?”
> 
> “No, I do not.”
> 
> “... Right... are you finished?”
> 
> “I believe so, yes.”)

Sitting down in the kitchen, still holding Maggie, Tony sighed. “So,” he began. “First of all, yes, I understand her and yes, I am telling truth and yes, she speaks in sentences when she must, and no, none of this is my fault.”

“I believe the first three,” Steve offered.

“How else would she speak?” Loki asked curiously.

“Maggie wants to know why she doesn’t have a mommy,” Tony said, ignoring Loki’s question.

Steve looked stricken.

“Oh!” Loki smiled at his daughter. “Most of midgard requires a woman or a female partner to assist in procreation, but I am not Midgardian. You did not need a Mommy, you see, so we never got you one.”

Oddly enough, this explanation seemed to work.

Maggie peeks out from where she’s been hiding her face against Tony’s expensive Italian Silk shirt. “Buh,” she said, wobbly-voiced, holding her arms out so Loki would take her. “If I don’ have a mommy I can’ _share_.”

“What?” Steve asked softly, clearly confused. “Maggie, sweetheart, you share all the time. You are very good at sharing, you even helped Agent Coulson with his seminar on office equipment!"

(She had, too. Maggie had been very firm with the junior agents when she told them “Shaywing is caywing. Pwopa weckwisition foams are _mandanory._ ”)

“No, Daddy.” Maggie said solemnly. “If I don’ have a mommy, no sharing mommies wif Zoey.”

“Zoey?” Tony repeated, alarmed. “You didn’t say anything about a Zoey! Are you sure you’re not just starved for appropriate female role models?”

“You take that back!” Loki said, offended. “I am an excellent female role model!”

Steve looked at him. “Darling. You aren’t... always... female.” he pointed out carefully.

“At which time Maggie may instead look to Lady Natasha, or Miss Potts, or even to Agent Lewis of Shield!” Loki replied hotly. “Would you dare imply that Jane is not a fitting role model for our daughter! Do you think so little of the women who reside in our tower?”

Tony and Steve both vehemently agreed that yes, Pepper was an excellent role model, and Natasha was definitely primo role model material. Loki cuddled his daughter for a moment while the men tried to remove their respective feet from their mouths.

“Who is Zoey?” Steve asked. “Why do you... oh, oh _honey._ ”

Tony looked at him for an explanation, but Steve was wearing the puppy-eyed, wibbly look on his face, the one that had convinced the World Security Council to give Loki a full pardon in return for his retirement from villainy.

“Maggie, sweetheart.” Steve said. “Your friend Zoey doesn’t have a mommy, does she?”

Maggie shook her head, curls bouncing. Steve gave her a kiss on the temple, resting one of his large hands on her back. “And when you tried to be a good girl and share, your teacher told you that you didn’t have a mommy either.”

“Wow,” Tony said, impressed. “You got all of that from a sad face and some wibbles? You are really good at this whole dad thing, huh, Cap?”

Steve gave his friend a smile over his shoulder.

“That is a good tale, and an admirable goal, my princess,” Loki mused. “Perhaps we should pay a visit to this friend of yours...”

“Wow, no!” Tony interrupted. “That is a _spectacularly_ bad idea. I have a better idea. Okay? Let’s not start raising the dead or whatever horrible idea you had, give me five minutes, I can fix this.”

“Tony,” Steve said.

“What?” Tony glared at him. “He’s LOKI, you know he’s going to end up with an accidental zombie army if he tries to raise the dead. Look at what happened the last time, Steve!”

“It’s fine,” Steve said, considering the problem. “You don’t have a mom, because you have two daddies,” he said to Maggie. “Can't you share us with your friend Zoey instead?”

Maggie smiled up at him. “Yes, Daddy!” she decided, allowing Steve to wipe the tears from her face.

“There,” Tony grinned. “Problem solved! Now, let’s go back to our playdate!”

He lunged forward, attempting to wrestle Maggie out of Loki’s arms. Unfortunately for him, he was prevented from succeeding, on account of Steve’s colour-coded chart that said this was an officially designated snack time.

Tony and Maggie both sulked through the first half of their snacks, got distracted throwing Cheerios at each other, and then made their escape from the kitchen when Loki began making out with Steve against the refrigerator.

\--

That should have been the end of it.

\--

Three months later, when Maggie was sitting in the rec room watching Dora, Clint wandered by with his bow on the way to the range for some practice.

“Unca Clint!” Maggie yelled at him. “Come play Cars!”

Clint stopped in his tracks. “What did you call me, squirt?”

“Unca Clint?” Maggie repeated, blinking up at him.

“Holy shiitake mushrooms!” Clint breathed. “HEY EVERYONE-- QUICK! ASSEMBLE IN REC ROOM FOUR FOR A FAMILY MEETING!”

\--

**Two minutes Later:**

“Unca For!” Maggie said, pointing at Thor. “Annanasha, and Unca Hug!”

Bruce, who had not heard the ‘family meeting’ part of Clint’s announcement, had arrived ready to battle the forces of evil. Fortunately, Hulk was always willing to be distracted by shiny toys and he also liked watching Dora, so nothing was ruined except for his second-favourite lab coat and his least-favourite tie.

Maggie, who until then had only met Hulk in passing, had immediately dubbed him “Uncle Hug” and refused to let him go.

Hulk was sitting cross-legged on the floor, Maggie perched on one massive shoulder.

“And me?” Tony asked eagerly.

“Unca Nony!”

“I told you it was a phase,” Steve said with a relieved grin.

“Perhaps,” Loki bent down and regarded his daughter. “What do you call me, dearest?”

“Daddy,” Maggie replied easily.

\--

And yes, the two year old had all of their names down. Even Rhodey, who did not seem overly concerned with being called “Colonel Unca Rhodey”; and Coulson, who was Mister Agent Phil, and even Fury, who Maggie earnestly referred to as Mister Pirate.

“Um,” Pepper said, looking at Natasha. “Does it maybe seem like Tony has had a bit too much influence on these names?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised.” Natasha replied, giving Tony a narrow-eyed look.

\--

“Momma!” Maggie said, beaming up at Steve.

“What,” Steve said flatly, raising his head to glare at Tony.

“Momma!” Maggie said, poking him in the leg. “Up! Up, Momma!”

“This is not my fault,” Tony lied unconvincingly.

“Momma!” Maggie shouted. “UP!”

Steve leaned down and picked her up.

Tony grinned at him.

Sighing, Steve looked at his daughter. “Does this mean you’re sharing me with your friend Zoey?” he asked.

Maggie nodded happily. “‘Cause you bake cookies,” she explained. “Mommas bake cookies. Zoey likes chocwit chip.”

“Okay,” Steve said agreeably. “Let’s go make chocolate chip cookies.”

He marched out of the room with his head held high.

Behind him, he could hear Loki yelling at Tony. “I cannot believe your impudence, you mortal buffon! How dare you turn my daughter against me! How am I to have any mother-daughter bonding time with my spawn when you have forced me into the detestable position of being a _male_ in her eyes! _NOW WE CANNOT WEAR MATCHING DRESSES TO THE MALL!_ ”

Yup. Definitely time for chocolate chip cookies.


End file.
